Another Rotten Day
First
published in F&F 5, March 1998
© 2000 Fodderstompf.com / F&F Publishing
F&F: Well, I finally managed to get hold of some of the 'Rotten Day' shows. As you'll see it was worth the wait. From what I can tell the show ran Monday-Friday from September 95 to February 97. A daily 'diary' of rock n roll events, given the Rotten treatment... "Johnny's version of history... It never sounded so good!"
Whether or not there will be more I don't know, but if there is, lets hope one the UK stations run it. Anyway, here's some edited highlights, enjoy...
Transcribed by Scott M
It's... Johnny with
yet another ROTTEN DAY!
Your informative alternative to suicide...
It's
moany Monday, October 2 with Mr Rotten, lets go back to 1982 on this
day, starting with The Clash - 'Rock The Catbox', this starts to climb
up the charts, whoa is music everywhere, this leads on to their first
gold album in the US, 'Combat Rock', did we realise at the time this
was the best any of this lot could ever do? Bad as it was! Well here
we go, in '86 we got Big Audio Dynamite, you know that thrilling outfit,
c'mon everybody beatbox (laughs), I think it sold, but y'know, since
when has good taste and record sales ever been hand in hand. What have
we got now, we've got Joe Strummer out of work. Havana 3am which featured,
Simonon, the bass player, that fell apart 'cos the singer went and died,
no doubt due to good taste. I suppose the best thing left for them is
reformation! 1991 Red Hot Chili Peppers LP 'Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magic'
apparently recorded in a haunted house, I suppose that helped, maybe
it was the ghosts and howling in the background that appealed to me,
'cos I liked it. That's all I can really say, except that this band
has had more guitar players than I've had managers, and believe me that
is impressive.
October 9th, Monday. Oh, I should be celebrating but somehow I feel
cheated, 'tis the day the Sex Pistols were signed to EMI for some 40,000,
the kind of deal usually reserved for long time established acts, a
bit of history in the making, a lot of cash you would think, but this
was soon followed by horrendous court cases, taking something like twelve
years, and after accountants, lawyers and the likes were paid off, I
think it amounted to about 2.50 a head, per band member, just about
enough for a pint of beer and a bag of chips. Hail, Rob'n'Roll!
Here we go it's October 30th, and a completely rotten Monday to you
all, 1970 and it's a completely rotten day for Jim Morrison, remember
him of The Doors?, not dead yet but ominously looming up towards it,
we'll deal with his recent indecency, exposing his willie dangler to
a large crowd, reports have it that there wasn't much to see, (sings)
the breeze between my knees! (laughs).
Birthdays... OJ Simpson you are 49 and should not be...
May 6th 1991 and REM release 'Shiny Happy People', this song is sad,
so are you for buying it, and more shame on them, all round pathetic,
how can you tolerate that pap and tell me that these people care.
Tuesday November 28th, 1973 The New York Dolls appear on a stagnant
old BBC2 tv show called the 'Old Grey Whistle Test', they came on in
full drag tore up the studio and performed, extremely badly, two songs
'Jet Boy' and the brilliant 'Looking for a Kiss', this lot with their
hideous hooker image managed to outrage the British audiences and impressed
me no end, to my mind this band was evil burlesque in high heels, with
a vengeance!
October 12th, Thursday, a gloriously depressing day for some, heh 1978
it's the arrest of Sid Vicious, poor old Sid gets collared in his Chelsea
Hotel apartment in New York, for the fatal stabbing of his girlfriend
Neency Spungeeen, BITCH!, this was one of the worst creatures to walk
gods earth. I don't know if Sid did kill Nancy, it would be nice and
romantic to think he did, but the reality... I think is a little different
it was all pathetic and awful. It takes me of course to the movie, ahh
the 'Sid and Nancy' film, which a lot of people refer to as being factual,
which it indeed was not, if you knew anything about the demise of Sid
and Nancy they died several, several months, if like anything up to
a year beforehand, because of the heroin, and the drug taking, just
the sordid squalor of it all, and the movie of course glamorised all
that with that stupid riding off to heaven at the end stuff, I thought
sadly sickeningly depressing, 'cos if you really want to deal with drug
addicts in this world, treat them as they should be treated, with the
utmost disrespect, you do not need to go this way, and I passed this
information onto a lot of the Seattle scene, there is nothing glorious
in squalor, it's an affectation which none of you chaps wear well, and
results in your deaths, and I don't mean to lecture but I have a very
low tolerance of idiocy, unless you want a hole in the ground that's
not the way to go, there I've pontificated...
December the 8th 1977, Bob Marley releases 'Jammin' which crawled up
the British charts, now this record at the time completely confused
the paranoid British because they swore he was singing we're GERMAN!!
Ya das good reggae!
Birthdays... The ever so quickly balding David Letter-man you are 49,
ya bastard, why won't you let me own your show, BASTARD!
1977 and a prominent member of Alice Cooper's band died of a rat bite,
no this wasn't one of the regular members, this was Alice Cooper's pet
Boa Constrictor, see the rat bit the snake when it was about to become
the snakes lunch, I guess you could call that self defence really, some
crap snake though eh? (laughs), Cooper is holding auditions for a replacement,
but to get the part right you had to know your scales!, oooh (laughs).
Same day in 1981 The Specials release their new single called 'Ghost
Town', now Lynal golding told NME at the time the song was inspired
by a trip him and Neville took to Jamica, because they thought Kingston
was a real ghost town, and they also compared that with towns like Coventry,
BUrmingham, in fact the whole of England if you come to think about
it, excellent song, bet you never thought you'd hear me say I like something,
(laughs) and I'm not even lying!
Wednesday, April the 10th 1962, and tragedy strikes The Beatles as they
begin their career. Original bassist, Stuart Sutcliffe dies in a hamburger,
sorry in Hamburg. Well, that's one down and four to go!
May the 17th Friday, little short story for you, on this day in 1980
for no good reason known to mankind, some complete wally had the no
sense to ask Public Image Ltd onto 'American Bandstand', absurd one
would think, however this odd ensemble of completely wasted out of their
brains drunkards turned up at the studio, the band absolutely failed
to perform accurately, it did their careers no good, but Dick Clarke
some eight years later actually had Public Image in the top eight of
best performances of all time!
June the 11th Tuesday, a year ago today Paul Wellar releases 'Stanley
Road', I suppose he got tired of re-inventing that 1965ish Jam version
of the Who, instead he's set his sights a little more modern like the
1968ish version of Steve Winwood and Traffic, Stanley Road hmmn, well
I wish he would go out and play in the middle of Stanley Road, and I
mean that in the nicest possible way! June 11th 1982 and 'ET' is released
on the world by Steven Speilberg, well I saw the monster but I never
did get to see his extra-testical...
July the 12th Friday, the week is almost over, waaay back in 1976, thats
twenty years ago today, The Ramones debut single came out, it was called
'Blitzkrieg Bop', now this single would influence hundreds of disaffected
musicians who started up their own little bands to challenge the status
quo, which was a good thing really, 'cos everything Status Quo had done
since 'Pictures of Match Stick Men' was crrrap. Lets rush quickly back
to 1982 when the Circle Jerks album 'Wild in the Streets' was released,
ooooh, now this group actually got back together last year, the audacity
of it, don't you just hate comebacks! 1983, 13 years ago, Wham's debut
LP called 'Fantastic' entered the charts at number 1, well of course
instead of Fantastic it really should have been called 'You Spastic'
and just be done with it, but that's just 'cos I'm jealous of George's
hair and who wouldn't be?
Friday, February the 23rd,
and in 1985 The Smiths 'Meat is Murder' LP is released. Meat is Murder?
Well, unless you've had one of Linda McCartney's veggie meals that is.
However, both products will make you quack like a duck!
1978, on this day Public
Image Limited release their first single, 'Public Image', not many people
know this but our original name was 'The Carnivorous Buttocksflies'
a name that the record company didn't too much appreciate at the time,
but I guess that will be destined for a revival soon, there's enough
cheesy imitaters out there to grab it, with my condolences of course.
July the 17th Wednesday, and it's World War Three I'm afraid because
unbelievably the Sex Pistols are going to perform live in Belfast Northern
Ireland, if ever there was a marriage made in hell this must be it,
delicious huh?, and the whole thing will no doubt go off with a fizzle
and a pop, how the catholics will love 'God Save The Queen', and the
Protestants will hate 'Religion', you know what, catholic Protestant
I've managed to offend all of them, (laughs).
Birthdays... Julie Andrews, oh anyone remember 'Victoria Victoria?',
it was a crappy old movie, but at least we got to see Mary Poppins poppers!,
however you are 61...
It's Monday September the 18th, and in 1970 this is the day Jimi Hendrix
dies, inhaling his own vomit!, another self indulgent Seattle rock n
roll death.
It's October the 23rd 1965 and guess what folks? Pope John Paul the
6th issued a decree absolving the Jews of collective guilt for the crucifixion
of Jesus Christ, how big of you baby, excuse me your pious-ness I'm
no historian but didn't the Romans actually do it?, and where are they
from anyway? Rome?, now where are you when you're issuing this decree,
Rome?, eh duh, forgive me I see a connection but of course if you accuse
the Romans of anything you'd be out of a job wouldn't you?
...this years Tony Bennet, why don't we describe every has-been as this
years Tony Bennit and be done with it... 1991 and this years Tony Bennet
(laughs) is Malcom Mclaren and he's got a new job as a tv spokesman
for 'Cadburys Twirl' chocolate bars in England, oh how the mighty have
fallen (laughs), still 'Cadburys Twirl' goes really well with a 'Mountain
Dew!' (laughs).
Roten Day promos © unknown